I Hate the Homecoming Queen
by DragonWriterZZ
Summary: Orochimaru has a daughter? And she has a crush on Obito! Let's back up a bit. Anko has a new teammate, and she's forced to put up with the clingy daughter of Snake Face, who is after her crush! What can Anko do to halt it without letting Obito know she likes him? TPS Challenge. ONESHOT. ObiAnko. Implied tiny bit of KakaRin. T because I'm paranoid.


**So I don't remember all that much from Kabuto's story, but I remember he used to be a sweetheart…and an orphan. O.O" I can't remember how old he was when Orochimaru took him, either, so, if this is off, I apologize. OwO"**

**Since I've been in a Gaiden mood lately (plus the fact that I've had this idea etched into my brain since like…two years ago, I believe? That sounds right XD), I shall write about it~! ;D**

**STARTED AT: 7:08 PM on 3/16/13**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own the characters (Hebi excluded) or any of the franchise. I'm sure if I were Kishimoto, I wouldn't be writing fics about my own characters. XD**

**-\[=]/-**

Anko was enjoying her ramen at Ichiraku. Obito was sitting by her side, slurping his up just as she did. He didn't have anywhere to be that day. His team had the day off from training, so he figured he'd walk Anko to her own training grounds after she finished her food. After she swallowed the rest of the broth, settled the bowl and chopsticks down, and sighed contently, she and the goggled boy were off.

"Thanks for taking time out of your day," Anko began her appreciative sentence, "to walk me to my training grounds."

"It's no problem," he replied as he waved his hand dismissively. "Besides, I don't have anything else planned today. I may just go back home and mess around with my cousins."

"Does that ever feel…" she began her inquiry as she attempted finding the correct word, "silly? Playing with children?"

"In some cases, yeah," Obito shrugged, "but they're fun to be around. Fugaku-San is always shoving rules down our throats and making us feel uncomfortable. Whenever I get to play with them, it makes them feel like they have a big brother that isn't a stoic jerk."

Anko snickered and agreed by saying "I see."

They strode on, finally making it to the training grounds. They expected to see the face of Orochimaru, but instead, they saw an unfamiliar face. He was young (maybe eleven-years-old), circular glasses adorning his small face, and white hair pulled back into a scraggly, short ponytail. Obito nudged Anko's forearm gingerly, which grabbed her attention.

"Do you know that kid?" he whispered.

"Nu-uh," Anko replied, shaking her head as she did so.

As they walked toward him, he took a cautious step back. Anko put on a sweet smile, settled her bag down, and held out her arms. The boy watched her, trembling as he did so. She could tell he wasn't from around Konoha. He just didn't have that feeling or look to him. Obito kneeled beside Anko, anticipating the child with her.

"Come on now," she said lightly and sweetly, "I won't bite."

Slowly, the boy made his way to her, his hands over his chest with his elbows locked the entire time. Once he reached her she grinned and stuck out her hand. He shook it guardedly, as though he thought she had a joy-buzzer strapped around it.

"I'm Anko Mitarashi," she introduced herself. "What's your name?"

"Kabuto Yakushi," he muttered lightly. "Do you know who Orochimaru is?"

"Hai," Anko answered him, "he's my sensei. Why?"

"Well, he asked me to examine his team," Kabuto began, "and wanted me to think over joining it."

"Joining a team with Orochimaru?" Obito inquired, a grin plastered across his face that showed he was attempting to stifle his laughter.

"Is it a nice team?" Kabuto inquired, eyes filled with hope.

"Well, I'm the only one on it," Anko shrugged. "Other than me, there's just Orochimaru-Sensei."

"Oh," Kabuto said before pondering over it for a moment. "You seem very nice. I may give it a shot."

On account of how much Orochimaru creeped her out, it was evident that Anko would want a teammate. However, Kabuto seemed a bit too sensitive. If Orochimaru even licked his lips in front of the poor kid, he would more than likely get scared and cower away in a corner. She just didn't understand. What was so special about him that Orochimaru wanted him? Nevertheless, she decided to look out for him.

Obito stood up, giving Anko a helping hand as he did so. She smiled and accepted it as he aided her in standing up. Obito smiled at the small boy and tapped his glasses lightly with his index finger. Anko expected Kabuto to get a tad freaked out, but he stayed calm while Obito did so. He was obviously confused, but he kept his head during the situation.

"Nice specs, kid," Obito complimented. "I like them."

"A-Arigatou," he thanked him. "I like yours, too."

"Arigatou," he beamed. "I'm Obito Uchiha, by the way. It's nice to meet you, Kabuto-Chan."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Obito-San," Kabuto nodded.

Moments later, Orochimaru was spotted in the other direction. He seemed to have a girl holding his hand, but none of them could make out who it was. As they came closer, Orochimaru spotted Obito and smirked in that creepy way he does. It sent a chill up Obito's spine, but he stood his ground.

"You have a very astounding sharingan, Obito-Kun," Orochimaru stated.

"Ano," Obito replied in a disturbed tone, "thanks?"

"And a very attractive body," he continued.

"Yeah, uh," he began his reply as he scooted a bit behind Anko, "no. Th-That's not happening."

"Sensei," Anko growled as her face flushed, "you're embarrassing me!"

"I'm just making friends, Anko-Chan!" he roared, which deserved a stubborn expression from his student. "Anyway, this"—he waved his hand toward the girl who held his right one—"is my daughter, Hebi."

"Daughter?" Obito and Anko exclaimed in unison.

"Yes," Orochimaru smiled. Genuinely. He did. Orochimaru _genuinely_ smiled. It scared them both.

"Konichiwa," Hebi greeted them.

"Moshi-Moshi," they greeted her in confused voices.

"Orochimaru-Sensei, if you don't mind my asking," Anko started, "how did you have a child?"

"She shed from me one day," he beamed. "My little Hebi-Hime came from Daddy's skin!"

"Tou-San," Hebi droned.

"Fine, fine," Orochimaru sighed. "She lives with her mother."

"You have a _wife_, too?" Anko inquired, shocked.

"Hai," Hebi confirmed, "my Kaa-San."

Hebi's skin was pale, but it wasn't anywhere near blue like Orochimaru's was. She had purple-shaded eyelids like her father, though. Her eyes themselves were yellow and her hair was long and black like Orochimaru's but hers were in pigtails. She had to be at least ten-years-old. Anko became a bit dizzy and needed to sit down. Her face flushed and became a bright crimson as she wobbled back and forth, attempting to continue standing.

"Anko-Chan," Obito gasped as she finally tumbled.

Fortunately, Obito caught her just before she collided with the ground. He helped her come back to a standing position, which she thanked him largely for. He smiled as he told her it was no problem, which made her face go a tad bit pink.

"You're not gonna faint again, are you?" he inquired as he laid his hand on her forehead. "You shouldn't be doing this more than that little Hyuga girl, you know."

"Uh, I'm fine," she smiled. "Thanks, Obito-Kun."

He took his hand away from her forehead and looked in front of him. Hebi was staring at him, her yellow eyes fixated on his face especially. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and avoided eye contact with her, but that didn't make her quit. She continued her one-sided staring contest. Anko could see Obito's dislike written across his face. Obviously, this infuriated her.

"That's a bit rude, Hebi-Chan," Anko stated bluntly.

"Tou-San was right," Hebi commented as she licked her lips and smirked, "you really _do_ have a beautiful body, Obito-Kun."

That scared him enough to leave. A girl five years his junior was calling his body beautiful. That obviously disturbed him, so he scratched the back of his head, sheepishly smiled as he ran through excuses in his mind. Once he finally came up with one, he grabbed Anko's shoulders and gave her a serious look, but she knew he was faking it. He'd do anything to get out of that situation. Goodness knew _she_ would.

"Anko-Chan, I had fun today," he began, "but I just remembered that I have to help Itachi-Chan with his shuriken practice!"

"Oh, yeah!" she replied seriously. "Go Obito-Kun! Before it's too late!"

"Hai!" he agreed, running off as he did so.

**-\[=]/-**

"I'll kill her," Anko muttered under her breath, but stated it loud enough for her friends to hear.

Rin, Kurenai, and Anko were all having lunch at the dango restaurant. Anko viciously tore into her food as Kurenai and Rin watched. They heard bits and pieces about Kabuto and Hebi through Anko's malicious bites and words. She was talking with her mouth full, making it quite difficult for them to understand. Rin uncomfortably watched her friend attack her food so violently. Kurenai had had enough of it and slammed her hand down on the table, which ceased Anko's speaking and eating.

"Anko-Chan, dear," Kurenai began with a bittersweet voice, "we love you to bits, but I'll have to knock your flipping lights out if you don't learn to close your mouth while eating."

Anko's eyebrow quirked up slowly. She didn't understand what Kurenai was speaking of at first, but she soon gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She blushed a bright shade of pink and bowed her head.

"Gomen! Gomen! Gomen!" she apologized. "I had no idea! I usually eat so politely, it's just…that Hebi girl!"

"What did she do that was so bad?" Rin inquired.

"She's only ten-years-old from what we heard you say," Kurenai stated. "You're thirteen; you could punch her lights out if you wanted."

"I'd get in trouble with Orochimaru-Sensei if I did," Anko confirmed monotonously. "She's his daughter."

That took a moment for the other two to register. Once they finally put the words "Orochimaru has a daughter" together in their heads, they shivered a tad. Anko murmured "my thoughts exactly" before she restarted her story of that morning. They gushed out "aww!" when she spoke of the cute, little Kabuto. From what she had gathered, he was a sweetheart. However, once she reached the subject of Hebi, her temper became short again.

"And she _hit_ on Obito-Kun," she finally affirmed Rin's question, in which she received two gasps from her friends. "I know, right? That little girl doesn't know who she's messing with!"

"That's so weird," Rin said with a hint of disgust. "What'd he do after that?"

"Made up an excuse to get back to his house," she smiled in reply, "the smart cookie."

"Well, I suppose it's time for you to get over your shy attitude when it comes to this subject," Kurenai sighed out.

"What do you mean?" Anko blinked as she questioned her, completely unaware of what Kurenai was talking about.

"You have to mark your territory," Kurenai stated with a serious tone. "Show that little brat that he is _yours_ and no one else's."

"But I can't," Anko replied in a surprised manner. "We're just becoming close! I don't want to screw it up."

"It's an odd way to put it, I admit," Rin began, "Kurenai-Chan is right. Make her see that she can't have him. The only way to do that is by letting _him_ know that you're the only one he can have."

Anko thought it over. She hated the idea of finally confessing her feelings to him. That just seemed odd in her case. However, she couldn't think of anything better to do. The only way to make Hebi back off of Obito was to make Obito hers. She'd been working on him since she was ten-years-old. Here she was, thirteen, and his best friend. She feared all her work would go to waste. However, after thinking over how close they had become, she figured it could only make progress move a little further along. She finally sighed and faced her friend.

"Fine," she agreed, "I'll do it when he walks me there in two days."

"Why two days?" Rin inquired, tilting her head to the side.

"It gives me a bit more time to get over my shyness when it comes to this type of thing."

With that, she paid for her food, thanked her friends for listening, and walked home.

**-\[=]/-**

"Think, Mitarashi, think!" she yelled at herself.

Anko walked around in circles while in her apartment. Her constant pacing would have finally caused a moat in her hardwood floor, but she paused. She knew what to do. A smirk crossed her lips as she slammed her fist into her palm.

"Get him to say his feelings first," she spoke to herself, "that way, I don't feel like a tool if he doesn't like me back!"

She looked out her window and opened her door a bit before closing it again. She groaned as she sauntered to her bed and sprawled out on it. She crossed her arms over eyes and sighed deeply.

"I need to stop talking to myself."

**-\[=]/-**

Much to Anko's surprise, Obito still offered to walk her to her training grounds the following day. She gleefully accepted the offer and they were off. She was certain to talk about something they had in common which would eventually lead to the question embroidered in her mind. They ended up talking about Kakashi and Rin, which led to Kurenai and Asuma.

"I think Gai and Shizune would be cute together," I snickered. "He's crazy, but she keeps him under control."

"Agreed," he laughed.

Before an awkward silence could be created, Anko fought within her mind. _Ask him! Now! While it's not too late!_ She mustered up all the courage she could to ask her question. All she needed to do was ask him without making it evident that she liked him. She could handle that.

"So, Obito-Kun," she began her inquiry with a smirk, "anyone on _your_ mind?"

"Good question," he chortled. "Nah, Anko-Chan, ever since I stopped liking Rin-Chan, I haven't really started thinking about dating or anything. I don't like anyone that way, honestly. It's weird to say, but I don't even have an urge to date."

Her heart sank a little, creating a small hole in her chest. She did her best to look forward and not make eye contact with him. He didn't know it, but he just broke her heart into a million pieces.

"Oh," she said with a bit of discontent, but certainly not enough to show pain, "really?"

"Hai," he nodded.

Her head was bent down. Anko attempted to hold in her tears, not wanting to look hurt or weak in the slightest. However, once Obito began speaking again, her head snapped back up to look at him. He seemed to be thinking quite hard about something. She needed to know what he was going to say. Anything—_anything—_that would settle her heart in the slightest would work.

"Then again," he finally spoke, "I guess if I got really close to a girl, I'd start having some sort of feelings for her. It's possible. I'm just not into anyone right now."

"It can be changed though?" she inquired.

"Hai," he nodded.

Her heart floated back to its original spot and glued its shattered parts back together. So she had a chance. All she had to do was get closer to him. They soon arrived at the training grounds. Hebi, Kabuto, and Orochimaru were all there. Anko leaned closer to Obito's ear, telling him that he could leave right then and there if he so desired. He grinned as he thanked her. Just as he spun on his heel to leave…

"Oh, Obito-Kun!"

_Little brat_, thought Anko as Hebi worked her way toward the Uchiha boy. Obito backed away slowly, waving his hands in front of him in a defensive manner once Hebi asked if he would stay to watch them train.

"Well, it _sounds_ fun," he embellished, "but I have to go help my cousins."

"Oh," she huffed.

Just as Obito was about to turn, Hebi leapt at him and caught him around the neck, trapping him in a hug. Anko was infuriated. This little ten-year-old was hanging off of _her_ Obito! She just about yanked her off, but Kabuto settled a hand on her arm, silently telling her that it wouldn't be wise. So she stood by and frowned at the demon child. She noticed Hebi smirk and lip her lips, which Obito shuddered toward. He obviously did _not_ like this girl.

"Such a muscular, beautiful body," she "complimented," making his skin crawl.

"I _have_ to go." he stated bluntly.

"_Stay_," Hebi whined.

"Hebi-Chan," Anko managed to say without a hint of anger, "if he's late, the head of his clan will be very, _very_ unreasonable and forceful with you for _making _himlate_._"

"Aww," she sighed, sliding off of him.

Obito mouthed "thank you" to Anko before running off. As soon as he fled, she decided Hebi would be her sparring partner for the day.

**-\[=]/-**

Anko was having ramen with Obito, Rin, and Kakashi. She had already explained to Rin and Kurenai earlier on that she and Obito weren't close enough to date, so she couldn't go through with her confession. This time, she was brainstorming ways to keep Hebi away from Obito with his team as a whole. He was obviously tired of the snake-like girl and wanted her to stop.

"Are you two stupid?" Kakashi rhetorically asked. "There's an easy situation to this and you have just been over-looking it."

"Well, if you're so smart," Obito spat out, "why don't you tell us, teme?"

"Anko-Chan needs to mark her territory."

"That's what I said," Rin muttered lightly so no one could hear.

"Come again?" Obito inquired.

Kakashi sighed and turned completely toward him.

"Dobe," he insulted before talking to Anko. "Anko-Chan, when Obito no baka walks you to the training grounds tomorrow, make sure Hebi is looking. Obito-San, you need to kiss Anko-Chan right when Hebi sees you. She'll stay away after that."

_Why didn't _I_ think of that?_ Anko thought. Obito wasn't all for the plan. He hadn't had his first kiss yet. It took very much convincing to get him onboard, but he finally agreed to go along with the plan.

**-\[=]/-**

The next day, Obito and Anko went through with the plan. They were silent the entire walk there, tension tying tight nooses around their necks. Anko was looking forward to it, really. She had a crush on the boy, so it would be a dream-come-true to her! Obito, on the other hand, felt a bit squeamish. He didn't have much experience when it came to things such as this (no experience with girls at all, really). Once they finally made it to the training grounds, Hebi dashed up to them.

"I'll see you later, Anko-Chan," he said in a quite relaxed way, as if he weren't nervous at all.

"Sayonara, Obito-Kun," she replied.

They pretended they hadn't seen Hebi. She stopped in her tracks to watch the two teenagers. Obito took Anko's hands in his and kissed her. Hebi's jaw dropped once she spotted this. Orochimaru walked to his daughter's side and wondered what she was gawking at. Once he followed her eyes and spotted the Uchiha with his student, his eyes widened. Kabuto couldn't help but give a small smile. He had a feeling this would come up.

"Ano," Obito muttered as he backed out, "I'll…I'll be taking Itachi-Chan to school now."

"Oh, uhm," Anko replied, finally coming back to reality, "yeah, I forgot. Bye, Obito-Kun."

"Sayonara," he said quietly.

He was stunned. He hadn't done something like that before. Once he walked away and was fully out of sight, Anko grinned and squealed quietly, jumping up and down as she did so. It wasn't until five minutes later that she noticed Orochimaru, Hebi, and Kabuto were all watching. She regained her composure and put her arms behind her back. She cleared her throat a bit once she noticed their facial expressions.

"We were…just…saying goodbye," she explained.

They nodded. She smiled and walked onto the grounds completely.

"Well, what are you all waiting for?" she inquired rhetorically. "Let's train."

"Right behind you, Anko-San," Kabuto smiled.

**-\[=]/-**

**Please review! It's much appreciated!**

**BY THE WAY: Obito stories are listed under Torune now. FF is screwing up again **


End file.
